I was supposed to be excited about the fourth annual Supershow. But events over the past week have changed that to feelings of emptiness. Knowing that after I walk out the door of Penrith Panthers on Sunday, I'm farewelling Australian wrestling. Just thinking about it nearly makes me cry.

From day one in 2002, I did my best. I absorbed everything I could, and busted a gut trying to do the right thing. I hit a few bumps along the way of course - and I accept that. But to be treated in the way that I have this year as a whole - from the fracas in January, through to the lack of respect I've been getting lately over matters like my view of battle royals, and the XAW trademark situation - it's just too much.

This isn't something that I want to toss away. Heck no! I love pro wrestling - and have done for 20 years this year. To actually be involved has been a dream come true. To have it turn into the nightmare that it has - you may as well drive a stake through my heart. Same effect.

There are those who will say it's my fault. Anyone who says that has no idea. Everything that I have said or done at any stage has either been for the good of the business, or it's been provoked. Usually the latter. To have such petulant losers strip me of everything I believe in wrestling (or rather try to), and try to strip me of my right to be me - as much as that can cause problems sometimes - is a perfect example of the intolerant world we live in. The true understanding is missing, and no one is prepared to acknowledge that - even amongst the fans who run sites like The Wrestling Pit and No Holds Barred. If one behaves like a turd, I respond in kind. Treat a person the way they treat you. If people don't want me to behave that way - then they should first look in the mirror before having a go at me.

But no one has listened, and can't get anyone in authority to do anything about it. That's the biggest crime of all - no protection.

I'll get it eventually. And once I do - maybe I'll go back. But only as a promoter. I'm through doing things the way others want. I've learnt enough.

But I will say this to all feds across Australia. Stop thinking you own the whole place. Stop thinking you're the best in the world. Because you're not. There's no such thing. The best fed in Australia is a debate that is best avoided when everyone has different ideas of which way to go. It's like comparing apples and oranges. You can't do it. Individual wrestlers is another matter however. I have my views on what constitutes the best, and one word tops the list of essential qualities - flexibility. The ability to work all styles. We don't have that many in this country, and that's our biggest hold back.

Andy Raymond has said that this Supershow will be the last. Maybe he's sick of it as well. I don't blame him. But then - he wouldn't have been burnt the same way I have.

I hope everyone on the Supershow card gives me a show to remember. But it's going to be hard to perk me up - especially on Sunday. When the show finishes, and I head for the exit, a part of me will die. And the worst part about it will be, there will be a number of people who should know better actually celebrating. That makes me feel both extremes of emotion - profound sadness, and unbridled anger.

All because I was never really understood.

I just hope that WWE standards pick up, just to make me feel a little bit better.

It was gratifying to know that I do have friends in the business of pro wrestling. Well - people willing to listen anyway. The result is that it is only Adelaide that is getting the boot. I have been given an ear for referee's duties (pending of course) for all three of Sydney's main feds, as well as Canberra. So I stay east for wrestling from now on. Melbourne's back on as well - although I do have an issue to sort out first. That shouldn't be too hard.

It's disappointing to note that Wolf Dogg's journal has gone to pot. My old enemies Amber and the Peruvian Personal Computer Pervert found their way there - and just now another anonymous post wanted to run a "face off" with me against everyone else. I called the place a Lunatic Asylum! I did add that I was gone for good (and I know that will get laughed at - and fair enough as well) but this time I meant it. With the exception of three people - and they know who they are - everyone in that were being complete and utter idiots.